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fairytales

yingtong

この記事は1年以上前に書かれたもので、内容が古い可能性がありますのでご注意ください。

Here at Eyes, JAPAN, we’ve had two employees who tied the knot just this year, and welcomed a couple to our design team. Also, there has been a sudden increase in marriages by my friends, or their friends, or friends of their friends, which has just added to the pressure to get hitched before the invisible deadline. Japanese singer Koda Kumi has also announced her marriage recently. (All of the newlyweds mentioned are in their mid- to late-twenties.)

Women are vulnerable to the fantasies related to marriage – the flower arrangements, the engagement/wedding rings, the wedding gown, and most importantly, the Happily Ever After seen in Disney’s princesses’ tales. White and shimmering, they are fairytales that women have aspired to since they were young girls. However, if Prince Charming is in fact a frog, the castles will fall from the clouds all too soon when the glitter runs out. To avoid a freefall from the sky, it is important to make sure that your marriage is so that you can live the rest of your life with Mr. Right, and not for the sake of marrying or for a visa. Likewise for relationships, it is important to make sure that you’re going out with someone whose company you enjoy, and not because it helps to keep the loneliness away.

According to statistics from “How not to marry the wrong guy”, almost 30% of divorcees walk down the aisle knowing that it is not Mr. Right they are marrying.

I have a friend who had planned to marry her boyfriend of almost seven years. The marriage was so that she could receive a spouse visa and live with him in another country while he furthered his studies. It was an impure reason for marriage, but I had thought, if it would prevent the risks of breakup that comes with an LDR, why not? But the wedding planned for this year was pushed to next year, and then cancelled after she re-found her independence. She is now starting her own business printing T-shirts. I respect her strength to make her decision, and hope to be able to avoid the mistake she avoided.

Ying Tong (who has been googling “How to marry the right guy” and “How not to marry the wrong guy”)

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